Far More Than A Thousand Words

Thank you all for the excitement and interest you have shown in my blog. I apologize that blogging has not made it on my priority list lately. It has definitely been on my mind, but my focus has been on Mini M and Miss K as we recently learned about the passing of their mother. Out of respect for the family and friends closest to her, I will not be sharing any details.

At the conclusion of my last post, I wrote about the lack of resources for step-families. This tragic, life-altering event is something through which no resource alone can help you navigate. The guidance and wisdom you will need for your children must come straight from the one and only omniscient God. I am the type of person that anticipates the solution to every possible scenario even before a situation occurs. In times like these, I learn to walk through the problems of the day and wait for God to direct my words and actions. He already said He would do so in His Word. Just lean on Him.

Mr. M and I have handled these past weeks with care and sensitivity; at least, I think we have. I can't help but wonder why it takes a tragedy for us to go through life being extra sensitive to the needs and feelings of those around us. As Christians, we should handle every situation and every person surrounding us with loving care.

On another note, I have a piece of advice for all you step-parents out there.

No matter what point you come into the lives of your step-children, they had and will always share a bond with their biological parent. Be the best parent you can be for your child, but don't ever try to diminish that bond. That bond is something you need to embrace, and your efforts to do so will be appreciated now and for years to come. Don't stifle something God created. What God creates is good and necessary. You will mess up, but if this is your overall outlook, your kids will see that you care.

One way to embrace this bond is to give your children access to old photos of them with their biological parent. Seeing photos of their mother holding them as infants at the funeral brought Mini M and Miss K so much joy. A few days after I heard the bad news, I contacted several people and asked them to gather old pictures they had of Mini M and Miss K's mother. Watching how they enjoyed these photos makes me wish I didn't wait until this tragedy to find some.

If your spouse doesn't have these photos, encourage him/her to locate some or try to find some on your own. It may seem awkward at first, but your children will appreciate this more than you will know. From my experience, a picture is worth far more than a thousand words.

Continue to pray for Mini M and Miss K. I know they will need your prayers now and in years to come.

Thanks for reading! I won't be a stranger, and I hope you won't be either.

Eleven Years Ago

Eleven years ago, my daughter was born.
Meanwhile, I wasn't there.

You see--eleven years ago, my daughter entered the world and began her journey of life.
Meanwhile, I never dreamed my journey would collide with hers.

Eleven years ago, my daughter's newborn eyes soaked up all the visible love on the faces surrounding her.
Meanwhile, my eyes had not yet seen the possibility and the extent of a love that can reach beyond biology.

Eleven years ago, my daughter stole her Daddy's heart.
Meanwhile, I didn't know she, her brother, and her Daddy would hold my heart for life.

Eleven years ago, my daughter, so innocent, could do no wrong.
Meanwhile, I had not felt the guilt of making mistakes as a parent and the constant drive to be a better Mother.

Eleven years ago, my daughter was new to this cruel world but full of affection.
Meanwhile, I didn't know the power and Christ-like example of a child's pure and unconditional love.

Before my daughter was born, GOD knew every twist and turn her life would take. He knew one of those twists would lead her to me and me to her. Along with twists and turns, we have gone uphill, downhill, and around a few circles, too. I'm thankful for the twists and turns because eleven years ago today, I never knew there was a little girl being born who would grow to love me, teach me, help me, laugh with me, cry with me, fuss with me, challenge me, and - most importantly - watch Hallmark movies with me!

This post is extremely personal for me to share. However, I believe too many step-parents (including myself) fail to express the reality of their roles and their feelings because of the stigma that so often accompanies step-parenting.

When I decided Mr. M was the one, my mom said something that will forever stick with me. And I quote, "Step-parenting will be the most challenging but most rewarding thing you have ever done." Over the years, I have shared this quote with many people who confide in me about their desire to marry someone who has children.

On this blog, I do plan to share both the challenges and the rewards of my journey through step-motherhood. I really believe the world needs more step-parents who will be transparent regarding their successes and failures. According to www.stepfamily.org, although 1,300 new step-families are forming every day, 75% of blended families complain about not having access to resources geared toward stepfamilies. It's time to start reaching out to a HUGE demographic that is being ignored, and hopefully some of my blog posts can be a small step in the right direction.

That's all for my rabbit trail. After a day celebrating Miss K and finally letting her get her ears pierced, this mom is ready for bed. Happy Birthday ~ I LOVE YOU!

Who Am I?

Upon entering the blog world, first things first. You should know who I am and what Keeping It Kelly is all about.

Here's the quick "Sunday School answer." I'm proud of my family, both immediate and distant. For a little over five years, I have been a wife to a wonderful man ("Mr. M"), who adores me, and mother to his two children ("Mini M" and "Miss K"), who I love and raise as my own. In January 2013, "Baby E" entered our lives and added an abundance of joy and love to our home. Since the birth of Baby E, I've been fortunate to stay at home and am forever indebted to my hubby for his hard work and sacrifice that allows me to be home soaking up every single page of motherhood.

Like many mothers, my life seems to revolve around my family, and that's how it should be. But I find it hard to believe I'm the only one who has let some passions slip through my fingertips. Writing has always been my outlet. I'm not sure when I let my love for words fall from the back burner to totally off the stovetop, but now it's time to scoop up my passion and turn on the burner! (See! Even my analogies have become domesticated!)

Every woman needs a release. Social media has tried to fill the void for me, but there is nothing like expressing myself through writing.

On my blog, I'll be keeping it Kelly, and that is beyond keeping it real. Keeping it Kelly reminds me to say what I believe and enjoy what I love. In this world of information overload, I can get wrapped up in reading other people's opinions, recreating other people's style, enjoying photos of other people's families, and longing for other people's dreams. Having an interest in the people and things around me is a good thing. However, it becomes damaging when I'm so absorbed by it that it suppresses my own dreams, style, and opinions.

Have you ever seen someone trying to get the perfect picture to post on Facebook or Instagram? Sure, the family quality time was diminished by the constant picture taking and newsfeed checking. But the picture reflecting that "quality time" was adorable, and it has 57 likes after being posted a mere 5 minutes ago. Trust me; I'm not anti-social media. Social media is awesome (and includes what I'm doing now--blogging), but not when it becomes a welcomed ball and chain.

My challenge to anyone reading this is to stop scrolling through your newsfeed, checking your Instagram, and re-pinning someone else's ideas, and live your life. Be the person who inspires others to create, to write, to dream. 

Ashley Linam from www.ashleylinam.blogspot.com is that person who has inspired me to be who I am, love what I love, and do what I do. Enjoying life is contagious, and you can feel her enjoyment radiating from the entries of her blog. Thanks, Ashley, for being an inspiration to so many women. I hope my blog can touch someone as yours has touched me over the years.

Thanks for reading, and check back often for my twist on many topics. 

~Kelly